Father, Forgive Them
Christ on the Cross by Bartolomé Esteban Murillo, 1660-1670
Since the leak of the Supreme Court's Dobbs case document, there has been a marked rise in extreme anti-Catholic behavior: the vandalizing of Catholic churches and Catholic-run pregnancy resource centers, targeted threats and harassment of Catholic justices, protestors disrupting Masses, and an alarming downplay of these events by the media and government. One radical group said they would be, "burning the Eucharist to show our disgust” for the Catholic stance against abortion. A tabernacle was stolen from a church in Texas, where the thieves discarded it like a piece of trash on the lawn of a Burger King. The sacred, consecrated Eucharistic Hosts—in which Jesus is fully alive and present in both His human and divine nature—were gone, presumably desecrated.
Like many, I felt angry, sad, powerless. What could be done? How could I—a full-time mom of three littles—fight this evil? Tangibly, I was capable of nothing.
But I knew I could pray, and so I began with a few short prayers of reparation. Then, wanting to do more, I started the powerful Novena of Reparation to Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament (find it at the bottom of this post). I offered one of my Holy Communions in reparation for these offenses, for I wished so much to comfort Jesus, to bring even a second of consolation to these new wounds in His tender and Sacred Heart. As I received Him in the Eucharist, my heart implored Him, "Lord, why do you permit these woundings?" Immediately, a response came into my mind: "That they might someday notice Me—come to know and love and serve Me, as you did." I prayed, "thank you, Jesus" for the response, and for having pulled me out of my old life.
As I returned to kneel and pray in my pew, a distressing insight came to me: these attacks of the unbeliever pained Him, but it was the everyday offenses of His believers that cut Him deepest, shredded His gentle Heart. For Jesus wanted nothing more than for every single one of His children to turn away from their sin, that He might fold them within His waiting arms of Love and Mercy. At the time I did not know what to make of this thought; I could only echo back to Jesus His own plea from the cross: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
The unsettling events and my new insights would not leave me alone; they seemed to be swirling together in my heart and mind, somehow expanding within me, and so I continued to pray and ponder through the next week, for I sensed Jesus had something more He wanted me to have, or know. Once more I examined the attacks on Jesus and His Church, this time under the lens of my conscience, recalling, again, the sins of my own, past life. I had not stolen a tabernacle or vandalized a church or picketed a house while screaming blasphemies and obscenities. And yet, for years I had wounded people and Jesus. I had, tragically, even desecrated the Eucharist in my own way. I had gnashed Him between my teeth in a state of mortal sin, in disbelief, in hurtful indifference. I had neglected a prayerful preparation, ignored the simple 1-hour fast, and taken the Blessed Sacrament as if it were only a bland cracker I must force down, as if the Eucharist were some habitual right or reward for attending, rather than a great honor. I had committed what St. Paul explains to be grave offenses against Jesus: “whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of profaning the body and blood of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:27). I had already handed these sins over to Him, placed them sorrowfully in the Hands of Love and Mercy within the Sacrament of Confession, and I had no doubt that Jesus had obliterated them, that “as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgression from us” (Psalm 103:12). But the memory remained in me that I had scourged Him terribly as both a believer and an unbeliever.
And then I was able to see that there were some harms I had not given Jesus. I saw, suddenly, many little ways in which I had failed to love and honor Him in the Blessed Sacrament. For how often did I forget Jesus as soon as I had received Him? As St. Magdalena de Pazzi once said, “The minutes that follow Communion are the most precious we have in our lives.” Here I was, outraged at the unbeliever’s disregard for Jesus in the Eucharist, even at my own former behavior, but how much better was my attitude now? In those precious, fleeting 15 minutes after Communion, had I not so many times fallen into distraction, into thoughts of pride, envy, anger, apathy, despair, and even idle talk? I had not pushed theses things away that I might cling to the Lord before His Presence faded from the Eucharist dissolving within me.
It was then I felt the nudge. Yes, I realized, it was time for me to examine my conscience further, and go to Confession. I apologized to Jesus for these and other wrongs, and received that familiar, freeing grace of the Sacrament.
And this, I think, points to one tiny, invisible way that God brings good out of evil. His work in the human heart is so beautiful, and so hidden. Even as I abhor the ugly persecutions of the Church, I must acknowledge that He is still laboring unceasingly—perhaps harder than ever—at making Himself known, that sinners may come to love Him, and love Him more. For in the healing hands of God, every evil is repurposed for some great good, including the conversion and ongoing reform of the sinner’s heart—my own included.
It is a hope worth holding on to, for I don’t believe the anti-Catholic sentiment is going away; indeed, in the few weeks since I first began this post, it has only ramped up. There was the senseless Pentecost massacre in Nigeria where more than 50 Nigerian Catholics were murdered at Mass. There was another theft of a tabernacle in New York, and the attempted assassination of Catholic Justice Kavanaugh. Since 2020, there have been 134 reported attacks on U.S. Catholic Churches, and some in Europe. I fully expect we will see such violence increase in the months to come, especially after the Supreme Court releases its official Dobbs case decision, perhaps also as the mid-term and 2024 election nears, and as inflation and gas prices and shortages and the other grim side effects of tyrannical, socialist governments continue to cripple individuals and families. Will the Church, and Her people, continue to be the scapegoat for hatred, rage and unrest? It would seem the early warning signs are there.
And I can’t help but ask myself… am I prepared? Is my soul ready? Is my heart pure enough—not only to decry sins but also to lovingly embrace the sinner? Will I be able to petition the Father on the behalf of the persecutor by saying, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” not as a sympathetic onlooker—but as an insider, suffering at the hands of others as Christ did? Will other souls hear and see the call of Jesus through me? Will I be able to offer His other lost and precious children not just truth and love, but a radical forgiveness that would grant them a preview of His—and as a sliver of thanks for that same gentle Mercy which He has so many times afforded me?
Novena of Reparation
to Jesus in the Most Blessed Sacrament
I adore Thee profoundly, O my Jesus, in Thy sacramental form; I acknowledge Thee to be true God and true Man, and by this act of adoration I intend to atone for the coldness of so many Christians who pass before Thy churches and sometimes before the very Tabernacle in which Thou art pleased to remain at all hours with loving impatience to give Thyself to Thy faithful people, and do not so much as bend the knee before Thee, and who, by their indifference proclaim that they grow weary of this heavenly manna, like the people of Israel in the wilderness. I offer Thee in reparation for this grievous negligence, the Most Precious Blood which Thou didst shed from Thy five wounds, and especially from Thy sacred Side, and entering therein, I repeat a thousand times with true recollection of spirit:
O Sacrament most holy! O Sacrament Divine!
All praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine.
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be…
Profoundly I adore Thee, my Jesus; I acknowledge Thy Presence in the Blessed Sacrament, and by this act of adoration I intend to atone for the carelessness of so many Christians who see Thee carried to poor sick people to strengthen them for the great journey to eternity, and leave Thee unescorted, nay, who scarcely give Thee any outward marks of reverence. I offer Thee in reparation for such coldness, the Most Precious Blood which Thou didst shed from Thy five wounds and especially from Thy sacred Side, and entering therein I say again and again with my heart full of devotion:
O Sacrament most holy! O Sacrament Divine!
All praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine.
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be…
Profoundly I adore Thee, my Jesus, true Bread of life eternal, and by my adoration I intend to compensate Thee for the many wounds which Thy Heart suffers daily in the profaning of churches where Thou art pleased to dwell beneath the sacramental veils to be adored and loved by all Thy faithful people; and in reparation for so many acts of irreverence, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood which Thou didst shed from Thy five wounds and especially from Thy sacred Side, and entering therein with recollected spirit I repeat every instant:
O Sacrament most holy! O Sacrament Divine!
All praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine.
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be…
Profoundly I adore Thee, my Jesus, the living Bread which cometh down from Heaven, and by this act of adoration, I intend to atone for all the many acts of irreverence which are committed all the day long by Thy faithful when they assist at Holy Mass, wherein through Thine exceeding love Thou dost renew in an unbloody manner the self-same sacrifice which Thou didst once offer on Calvary for our salvation. I offer Thee in atonement for such base ingratitude the Most Precious Blood which Thou didst shed from Thy five wounds and especially from Thy sacred Side, and entering therein with sincere devotion, I unite my voice to that of the Angels who stand around Thee in adoration, saying with them:
O Sacrament most holy! O Sacrament Divine!
All praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine.
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be…
Profoundly I adore Thee, my Jesus, true Victim of expiation for our sins, and I offer Thee this act of adoration to atone for the sacrilegious outrages Thou dost suffer from so many ungrateful Christians who dare to draw near to receive Thee with mortal sin upon their souls. In reparation for such hateful sacrileges I offer Thee the last drops of Thy Most Precious Blood, which Thou didst shed from Thy sacred wounds and especially from the wound in Thy sacred Side, and entering therein with a devout heart, I adore Thee, I bless and I love Thee, and I repeat with all the hearts who are devoted to the Blessed Sacrament:
O Sacrament most holy! O Sacrament Divine!
All praise and all thanksgiving be every moment Thine.
Our Father, Hail Mary, Glory Be…
Divine Heart of Jesus, I offer Thee, through the compassionate Heart of Mary, the prayers, works and sufferings of this day, in reparation for the offences that are committed against Thee, and for all the intentions that Thou hast in immolating Thyself continually on the altar.
